Thursday, January 19, 2012

Before the blog

Blogging has come naturally because I have always liked to write. Before I started blogging, I kept journals. Each has its own advantages. I like blogging because it allows some of our family and close friends to stay up-to-date on our daily happenings - things that they might miss out on otherwise. It's nice to post photos and share hobbies. And, to be honest, I like getting feedback from people telling me how they like to read it or that they get a laugh now and again.

I have always kept a journal, starting at the tender age of 11. All the way back in 1995 I received my first one as a birthday present. I was hooked. I would write about all things, good and bad. I would write about friends that were "mean" to me that week and my constant, unwavering elementary school crush on Nick Nehman. {There were all of 4 boys in my elementary school class, so I didn't have much of a chance to switch it up.} I detailed sleep-overs with friends and kept a nice - ahem, very mature - list of "people's hearts I wanted to rip out." Geesh... Lots of pent-up grade school hostility! My 11 year-old self also wrote poems such as this one:

A friend is nice,
A friend is neat.
Like sugar and spice,
Without a friend, you aren't complete.

Not only does that "poem" make ZERO sense, it's also just so so SO horrible. Please have a laugh at my expense.

In middle school it helped me get out all of those horrible, typical middle school-ish feelings. {You remember middle school, right? Or are you successful in keeping it blocked from your memory?} High school writings were full of stories of who was dating who and first kisses, and my constant judgement on all those things of course.

My college writings are far less embarrassing. I wrote about classes and the changes that happened to high school friendships. I talked about the process of making all new friends and becoming more independent. I also describe the first weeks after meeting Jared back in 2005 (I was so very smitten to say the least):

"His laugh is contagious and I can't help but laugh, too. He knows me on a level that just can't be explained. I've never been this happy before. He's everything I was looking for and had never really realized."

Awww.... aren't I sweet? ;)

I realized looking at my last journal that I hadn't written since early 2009. That's a long time ago. That was TWO KIDS ago. I realized I need to get back to journaling. Blogging is wonderful, but there are some things you might feel like writing that don't need to be out for everyone to read (ie: previously mentioned hit list). So I picked up my journal, picked up my pen, and I got to work.

Hopefully ten years from now I won't be quite as embarrassed  by the things I wrote as I was today when I looked back. But that is some of the beauty in keeping a journal. You see growth. You can see the changes. You can relive the emotions you felt as you were writing. So ten years from now when my girls are that age and are behaving ridiculously, I can pull out my old journal and remember just how big of an idiot I was, too. If it weren't for the laughs I get from reading it, trust me, I would have burned it a long, long time ago.

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