Sunday, May 12, 2013

why moms do what they do: it's all starting to make some sense now...

When you're growing up your mom does all this stuff that seems crazy.
You think to yourself,
Ugh! Why does she say that?
And why does she do that?!
Well I am starting to understand...

"We"ll see."
This one was the worst! Why couldn't she just make a decision?!
Recently I have found myself saying the exact same thing. Basically I am buying myself time to determine if I want to deal with the fight that comes with saying no or if it's just easier to cave and let Bailey wear another fluffy over-the-top dress to bed for the 9th night in a row.

Not buying us everything we wanted.
One Christmas I was obsessed with a Barbie play house bathroom set. This bad boy came with a sink, toilet, AND shower/tub combo. Sweet? Yeah, I know. I remember it costing less than 30 bucks in the JCPenney Christmas catalog, so I figured that was do-able for "Santa." Well, apparently Santa had other ideas. Christmas morning came - no designer bath for Barbie.
This one is hard for me, because while you're all probably thinking it wasn't a necessity for my happiness, you didn't see the real-life looking pedestal sink and the tiny little knobs in the shower. Seriously, so precious...
But as a mom now, I understand why Santa saw fit to provide me with some stirrup leggings and a sweater with a cat on it: because kitten sweaters and pants that won't ever slip out of your shoes are practical. Plus my mom was probably thinking that she didn't need any more plastic crap laying around her already-crowded living room.

"Because I said so."
The most annoying mom phrase of all time.
We all know this isn't a real answer!
Why do moms use this one?
Answer: because it is the only thing you can think of at the moment and you don't want to not have an answer. Besides I have mom brain (pregnant brain that morphed into baby brain which took up permanent residence) and I can't think on my toes as quickly as I used to.

Those inhumane bedtimes.
My mom had a set bedtime for all of us and she was pretty strict about it. I begged and begged all of my 8th grade year to be able to stay up to watch a whole episode of E.R. (which by the way - why was I watching that show anyway? I am sure I understood about 5% of what was being said.) but my mom would only go as far as to let me stay up an extra half hour - to watch HALF of the episode. What?!
Totally getting this one, Mom. Seriously I wouldn't have even given me that half hour.
When 7:30 hits around here, I am basically running back down the stairs shouting "Freedom!" at the top of my lungs because I am finally child-free. Scratch that - make that "physically" child-free. I still get to listen to them whine from their room for another song or a different book for at least another half hour.

"You're just tired."
This is the phrase my mom used any time anyone was crankier than normal.
Our usual response: "NO I AM NOT!" (Which obviously cleared up that discrepancy...)
She was right - cranky kids are usually tired kids. When Bailey is over-the-top whiny and acting a certain way, I know she is tired and needs a nap.
But I never appreciated it when Mom would use this line on me as a teenager. Or even once when I was like 22. Ummm... I'm an adult now, and I know you are comparing me to a 2 year-old! Not cool. When you reach adulthood, you're probably actually upset about something - not just pissy because you didn't get your daily siesta.

Literally locking all us kids out of the house and not allowing us to come in for hours.
Seriously, can't we just come inside for a drink?  To get a toy?  To use the bathroom?!
It's now clear in hindsight that Mom just wanted to get something done - not just scrub a floor to find someone with muddy shoes walking across the opposite side of the same room.
Or maybe she just wanted to go #2 in peace. Because that is a totally legit reason, too.
Which brings me to my next thought:
Mom? Mom? Mom! Mom?? Mom?! MOMMMM???!!!
Wait, why is she acting all exasperated? I just wanted to know where she was.
{Man, we must have been annoying!}
It's pretty obvious that going to the bathroom is like the most exciting spectator sport known to toddlers.
But mine have some uncanny alert system when it comes to me sneaking upstairs to fold laundry. "Mom? Mom? Mom, where ah you??"
Laundry is not fun. Throw in two toddlers and everything gets folded about four different times and still ends up in a pile on the bed. No wonder Mom waited so long to answer.
So this Mother's Day I am going to take the opportunity to apologize for all the eye-rolling and snotty looks I aimed in my mom's direction as a kid. Because a lot of the stuff she did was for a good reason. Or for her sanity, which is a good enough reason.
And now that I have an opinionated, independent mini-me daughter of my own, I know my mom is having the last laugh. And enjoying it.
So I think we're even, Mom.

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